one of the reasons that most appealed to me about having a photoblog instead of just a website for my photography was the writing aspect. those of you who know me know i’ve been blogging for a few years under my fancy (and adorable!) web pseudonym “everyonelovesmelissa” (check out my humour blog here), so of course the ability to maintain one website that combines both my love of photography and love of writing crazy, silly, and (hopefully) funny things was one i jumped at. i hope to introduce more crazy, silly, and (hopefully) funny posts in the future – always with images because it’s a proven fact that blog posts without them are booooooooooooring (like reading a book……… ew!). also, like my writing, my pictures can get crazy, silly, and (hopefully) funny. trust me, it’s going to be awesome.

another feature i like about photoblogging is being able to connect with other people & photographers from all over and swap secrets and learn from one another. i know that when i was first first starting out (and even still today!) i would forever be on the blogs of photographers i admired, studying their pictures, learning from them, and internalizing their trade secrets. i’d love to be able to give back to the community at least what i’ve taken out of it – and to that aim i’m going to start featuring some of my post-processing and general photography tips, as well as featuring vendors and others in the business that i personally would recommend. (and i make not a cent off of these endorsements, so if i recommend something it’s not because i’m being paid, it’s because i actually love it.) (but, you know, no big deal, if you are someone i’ve recommended on the site and you wanted to pay me for an endorsement i have already given you, you know whatever no big deal, that’d be fine and stuff.)

anywaysssssssss… to give you a taste of what i’ve got planned, here is a post that combines all three of my aims above: crazy, silly, and (hopefully) funny post with crazy, silly, and (hopefully) funny pictures and my post-processing details included. here we go………………………..

i’m lucky enough to live quite close to a beautiful public walk/bike path and large cemetery here in the city, which is great for both my waistline and flexing my photo-muscles. nick and i decided to take a long photo walk the other day and check out the slowly-greenified trail & cemetery. it was probably the weirdest and also most photo-fulfilling walk i’ve had there for a while:

1. squirrels squirrels everyyyyywhere!

can you find the squirrel in this picture? he was a sly little devil that chased nick and i up and down the trail. i think he thought that we were smuggling in peanuts or something? it may also have been because i was calling him over with  my near-perfect squirrel squeaks (yeah, i’ve been studying alvin & the chipmunks 2: the squeaquel. it’s come in quite handy), but who really knows.

here he is watching us from above. i am pretty sure he belongs to the squirrel gestapo. or the squirrel kgb. or whatever squirrel organization watches humans from trees and waits until they are perfectly placed under a branch and poops on them. he missed this time, but i’ve made nickie swear that on any future walks he will be my puh (personal umbrella holder, duh. do you not read us weekly circa 2002??! ….. or maybe that is just me). will keep you posted re: future successful squirrel poops.

this lil fella was my fave – i believe he may have had an unfortunate run-in with the squirrel mafia and lost his tail in a violent squirrel shoot-out. he must’ve learned his lesson ’cause he was a quick little sucker and i was lucky to snap this shot of him before he disappeared into his squirrel sanctuary (i.e. tree).

incidentally, another thing i learned re: squirrels – it’s super fun to use it as a modifier i.e. squirrel sanctuary. it’s not just a sanctuary, it’s a squirrel sanctuary. furry, adorable AND relaxing! gets me everytime.

2. terrifying trees

maybe it’s because we were in a boneyard or maybe it’s because things were just starting to bloom, either way after our walk i’ve decided that trees. are. effing. TERRIFYING. behold:

i call this one “giant tree hole” for obvious reasons.i do not know what is living inside of this hole, but i can only assume it’s terrifying and/or possible sans tail. it’s a proven fact that inside every giant tree hole there is something living that will bite you if you stick your hand in. nickie and i are smart enough to believe in this theory without having to prove it for ourselves.

i call this “old man bum” for obvious reasons. i don’t believe i need to elaborate. that is all.

an artier version of “old man bum”. just because it’s prettier, doesn’t make “old man bum” nicer.

and now for THE MOST TERRIFYING PHOTO I’VE EVER TAKEN AND ALSO PROOF THAT GHOSTS IN CEMETERIES DO EXIST AND WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS:

it’s a face in a tree with 3 little dots of light THAT WERE NOT THERE TO MY NAKED EYE WHEN I TOOK THE PICTURE BUT MAGICALLY APPEARED IN THE PHOTO. 1. the face is terrifying in and of itself 2. what and the eff are those dots? i’ve thought about it a lot and decided that those dots are ghosts and that the tree is possessed. don’t try to argue, because the proof is (scary and) overwhelming.

3. creepy child monuments

i guess it serves me right – you go into a cemetery, you will find children who have passed before their time. and there will be statues erected in their honour…………. some of them without heads.

this one? not so bad. just a little sad. but also a sweet remembrance. but this one………….. oh, this one:

epitome of creepy.

(side note though: i love love love LOVE this photo. i’m very proud of it – i think it may even be one of my best ever! so…… yay?)

and 4. homeless man running with giant tear in bum of 1982 jogging shorts. no, seriously: homeless man running with giant tear in bum of 1982 jogging shorts. he was booking it through the cemetery and kept lifting up his wrist to check his watch to see what kind of sweet ass time he was making on his loops……. except he wasn’t wearing a watch. but he was wearing 1982 jogging shorts with a giant tear in the bum, boy was he ever!

you know what that is? a bum’s bum! (yeah, i just went there.)

as for the post-processing info – i am eternally grateful for the totally rad actions and use them for ALL my post-processing in photoshop. seriously, i can’t say enough good things because they really help to snap my photos and give them that extra oomph. i use the sharpening actions on every photo (hint: if you are resizing for the web, use the sharpening actions after you’ve resized! it’ll make them nice and crispy!), as well as the “bitchin black and white” and occasionally the “quick edge burn”. i never ever use them at full opacity – i always dial it down until i get the photo looking exactly the way i want it. (if you don’t know about photoshop actions and opacity in relation to actions, you need need need to google it. it’ll save you so much time and hassle and make your photos look totally profesh.) with post-processing actions, i basically stick to the same small group of actions and use them over and over on every photo – as a photographer consistency and likeness in your images is key. you don’t want to sell a client on your fresh, colourful photography and then use actions that dull, mute, or date the photos – just like you, your photography & post-processing should stick to one general type of style. (unless your style is “totally unpredictable free for all!!!”…. in which case, go on with your bad self my friend.)

i’ll be back soon with more helpful tips and links for the budding photographers – and more pretty pictures for the photo lovers and potential clients – and more funny posts about bum bums for the humour (and stinky men) lovers.

if there is anything you’d like to see on here, drop me a line!